shooting and uploading

True, I became so overwhelmed with my camera that I take shot after shot of the things that caught my eyes. Then after that I will be excited to download all of them in my laptop and upload them ALL at once in my multiply account. So that others would see and appreciate the beautiful and colorful flowers that I photographed.

While I was browsing on the internet regarding Adobe Photoshop, I came across an article about the Digital Portfolio and Watermark feature. Then I realized that I should compile all of my best shots and have them copyrighted to protect my own collection. Right then I temporarily hide my recent albums of my flower shots collection.

Now, it really takes some time to make the watermark on those pictures. So I'm being patient to edit first my favorite ones and upload it one by one on a separate album.

I

It's not easy. I know that. Although I've thought about this a thousand times, it will never be that easy on my side, too. Just the thought of hurting someone you've loved and cared for almost four years kills me and gives me pains maybe twice as much he's feeling.

I know that the "letting go" and "moving on" stages will be both hard and might take time for both of us.

Hence, I'm looking forward to the time that our paths might cross again. WHEN we are all grown up and become better individuals. THEN the chance for our lost love might be possible. We can never tell. I'm not locking my doors, I will just leave it half closed for the time being. Until I find myself and 'til such time I find what I'm looking for.

Searching. Waiting. Knowing. Believing.

Maybe it will really come to this point that I will start questioning myself of what I really want. All this time, I've totally forgotten of this. Because I was always busy mending other's situations and problems. That I tend to miss out how myself is doing.  I reached  that point in my existence when I began to realize that I ALSO HAVE THE CHANCE and CHOICE to be HAPPY.

I also realized that it is not being SELFISH but being SELFLESS.

Love is really broad spectrum of feelings and before you can give love to other people. You should be able to learn and know how to love yourself first. For when you are happy inside, you can give back and share that happiness to others as well. Unconditionally.

I've gone through a lot the past 20 years of my life. Trials and problems that maybe not as gargantuan as to others. But I can say A LOT for my age and for my ability to handle such things. I always have battle against myself regarding my strength. I would always think that i'm weak. For i don't have the courage to stand up and fight for my ideals. I would just take everything so that I could not hurt others. Not even realizing that I've taken so much that I was never happy with it at all.

Now, I've acted for myself. I know I've hurt someone. I disappointed many. And MOST will not understand. But I MADE a decision for myself and i will stand for it, no matter what other's might say or think of me.

I hope this will be my last entry regarding this topic.

---

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.
Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

thanks and see you around

thanks for everything and for understanding...

i appreciate it so much..

see you around...

closing

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."- Helen Keller


i will not forget the three years that we've shared. it will be part of my life's greatest experiences and lessons. it's true that when you think of the trials and everything that we've been through, it's really hard to let go just like that. it might take weeks, months or even years. i'm ending this relationship not because i don't love him anymore, but my feelings is slowly falling apart that i can't control it myself. i can't hide the unhappiness and emptiness anymore.

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labour, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories? "I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved."~George Elliot~

if your're asking me the reason or reasons why? i can't specify everything and i don't want to go into too much details. i know he will not understand me at this moment. but i know in time he will. i don't need a space. what i needed is my time. time for myself. it's not being selfish. because if i am, i will still continue this relationship and i will just be unfair to him all the time. things will get even worse. and i might hurt him even more.


"Perfect love is rare indeed -for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise,the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist,the understanding of the philosopher,the acceptance of the saint,the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."~Leo Buscaglia~

i loved him that for sure. but i can't go forward anymore. i need to know myself more if i'm really ready to give myself to someone.

"I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."

i want to enjoy myself - just me - for now.

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.~Leo Tolstoy~


i'm sorry.
 

Burn - Usher

[Intro] I don't understand why See it's burning me to hold onto this I know this is something I gotta do But that don't mean I want to What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just I feel like this is coming to an end And it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you I gotta let it burn [Verse 1] It's gonna burn for me to say this But it's comin from my heart It's been a long time coming But we done been fell apart Really wanna work this out But I don't think you're gonna change I do but you don't Think it's best we go our separate ways Tell me why I should stay in this relationship When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with I think that you should let it burn [Chorus] When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to Even though this might ruin you Let it burn Let it burn Gotta let it burn Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you Hate the thought of her being with someone else But you know that it's over We know that it's through Let it burn Let it burn Gotta let it burn [Verse 2] Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to Got somebody here but I want you Cause the feelin ain't the same by myself Callin' her your name Ladies tell me do you understand? Now all my fellas do you feel my pain? It's the way I feel I know I made a mistake Now it's too late I know she ain't comin back What I gotta do now To get my shorty back Ooo ooo ooo ooooh Man I don't know what I'm gonna do Without my booo You've been gone for too long It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn) [Chorus] When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to Even though this might ruin you Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn) Let it burn (gotta let it burn) Gotta let it burn Deep down you know its best for yourself but you Hate the thought of her being with someone else But you know that it's over We know that it's through Let it burn Let it burn Gotta let it burn [Bridge] I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh) I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah) [Breakdown] Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?) Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh So many days, so many hours I'm still burnin' till you return [Chorus] When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to Even though this might ruin you Let it burn Let it burn Gotta let it burn Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you Hate the thought of her being with someone else But you know that it's over We know that it's through Let it burn Let it burn Gotta let it burn